Being Angry About Being Angry

Try not to be angry for yourself for being angry, that just fuels the fire. Let yourself feel the rage and frustration so the energy can dissipate instead of refuel and linger.

Emotions are just energy and energy never lasts in the same form forever. It takes on average two hours for anger to fully dissipate and that’s if we don’t keep fueling the fire by being angry with the fact that we are angry.

Emotions are the most natural part of being human and a moment doesn’t go by when we are not feeling something. If you are experiencing an unwanted emotion, like anger often is, the quickest way to stop being in that emotional state is to let it carry out its term. Try letting go of the need to feel different immediately. If you can endure the unpleasantness with self-compassion and without projecting your anger onto another, the unpleasantness will be over sooner than if you fight it.

The Good And Bad Powers Of Doubt

Doubt can be a remedy or a disease. Knowing whether to listen to your doubt or ignore it is what makes it either harmful or helpful.

It took one instant for her confidence to turn into doubt and then self-doubt. At first she thought the other dog might be her friend but then the mutt pulled a weird face and it was no longer clear, 'maybe she doesn’t like me after all?!’, my dog thought. Her tail immediately stopped wagging as she rolled onto her back in her submissive, ‘I‘m not worthy’ position hoping this would make the mutt accept her.

We’re so similar to dogs in many ways. Doubt can so quickly take over and affect our behavior. In some instances this can stop us from getting hurt and in other instances it can be the cause of us getting hurt. When we understand why we are feeling doubtful and learn how to contain it, we can know when to use it to make decisions or discard it as a hindering self-doubt.

The Power of Mini Reflection Moments

Make room for a moment of reflection today. All it takes is one conscious breath to center yourself and remember what’s important.

We get so caught up in our days with all the things on our plate that we often find ourselves running on autopilot. And while we may feel we are being efficient in this state, it actually causes us to lose vital information our mind and body are trying to share with us. We forget what’s most important, we make choices we regret, and we become absent-minded in our interactions with others.

Sometimes all it takes is a moment to re-center by taking a breath and asking yourself, ‘what’s truly important here and how do I want to show up?’. And these moments can slot into your day how you choose - on your drive to work, in the coffee shop line, walking into a meeting, in the bathroom stall or all of the above. The more the better!

Managing Expectations Is A Daily Practice

To be content: Let yourself be satisfied at the end of the day whether your expectations were met or not.

Some days go as planned, other days don't. Sometimes amazing things happen out of the blue, other times disappointed strikes you down when you least expect it.

There is so much in our day we can't control. What worked yesterday might not work tomorrow. So at the end of each day, if you can find satisfaction in where you are, the contentment you feel that evening will fuel you to get up and do it all over again the next morning.

The Silver Lining of Hardship and Challenge

The best thing about going through a hard time is how much stronger and confident you become without having to try.

A silver lining of going through hardship is you naturally stop caring so much about what other people think of you.

Sometimes you don’t even realize until you find yourself in a situation you used to find nerve-racking. Suddenly you see it’s really not so intimidating. And you wonder, ‘huh, guess this doesn’t bother me anymore.’ But if you reflect for just a little longer you’ll understand that no, actually it’s because you’ve been working through something heartbreakingly sad, disappointing, scary. And in comparison, these ordinary moments - like giving a presentation, walking into a party where you know no one, having an interview - are really not a big deal.

The Sweet Spot Between Self Acceptance And Personal Growth

A sweet spot is created when we are at peace with who and where we are right now whilst also wanting to grow and improve.

Cultivating self-acceptance whilst focusing on personal growth has been a tenet of well-being since the time of Aristotle in Ancient Greece. And it is just as, if not more, relevant for us today.

Being truly ok with who you are in this present moment allows you to be fully-aware and appreciative of the life you are living. Having the drive to evolve and improve gives your life purpose. Together, this kind of presence and purpose are a powerful force that allows you to enjoy a life of meaning as defined by you.

How An Act Of Kindness Affects Your Biology

On the subway the other day I saw a guy take his backpack off to make room for another passenger desperate to get into the car. As he removed his bag he looked her in the eye and asked gently ‘can you fit?’. ‘Thank you, yes’ she said as her face relaxed with gratitude and his face lit up with a small smile.

Some people might see this behavior as a common courtesy but the way he did it - engaging with her and showing genuine concern was a small act of kindness. And this act made them both feel, well, better. And plus it’s contagious - I also felt happier just by watching this interaction take place.

How To Endure Hardship The Modern Way

Practicing a mindset of Stoic Empathy allows you to endure hardship gracefully while maintaining healthy emotional connections with yourself and others.

When I was a young girl, my father used to read me the poem If by Rudyard Kipling, just as his father used to read it to him. The poem was framed above my little bed and was illustrated with all my favorite African animals — a giraffe, an elephant, a lion, a zebra. 

After receiving heartbreaking news from the doctor a few weeks ago, I found myself Googling Kipling in need of his poem’s wisdom. The beginning of the second stanza stood out to me: 

How To Be A Grounded Leader In Our Volatile And Uncertain World

How do we stay grounded in times of crisis? When everything is shifting beneath us, keeping ourselves calm and connected is one of the biggest challenges that we face in life.

A while back I went to hear a talk by the esteemed psychic Laura Day. She’s authored a legion of best-selling books, including Practical Intuition, and is employed by companies and governments around the world to help intuit the future. She’s tall and striking and has an unmistakable mystique about her. I was in awe of her energy.

After her talk concluded, she walked by me in the theater, stopped, put her hand on my forehead and said, “You my dear, you need to become more grounded.”

Stop Giving Advice And Learn How To Provide Meaningful Support

Giving advice rarely helps people, instead it makes them defensive and self-doubting. Instead we need to learn how to provide real support to those we care about.

Change is tough.

Life may be in a constant state of flux, but when it comes to ourselves, our lives, our relationships, and our habits, change can be one of the hardest things to pull off. Plenty of people out there — spouses especially — will tell you that humans fundamentally can’t change or at least won’t change. As the old adage goes, “A leopard can’t change his spots.”

I, for one, don’t subscribe to this logic.

How To Build And Benefit From A Mind, Body, Spirit Practice

Stop dealing with stress through control and start reducing it through connecting to your authentic self.

Nothing lasts forever — not even stress. No matter how intense a problem or how significant a challenge, life moves on eventually. This too shall pass, as the Sufi poets taught us.

Of course, understanding the inherent ephemerality of life does little for us when we’re in the thick of a problem. All things may be temporary, but stress sure does feel permanent when it sinks its teeth in. It doesn’t matter what we do or how hard we try, we can’t seem to shake it. The stress, the challenge, the problem sticks around.

Finding Answers Through Intentional Listening

In times of small challenges and big ones, the first thing we can do is just listen.

Taking the time to actively listen to ourselves, others, and the world around us not only gives us knowledge and insight but calmness and stability too.

What is your mind, body, spirit trying to show you?

What are others trying to tell you with their words, body, actions?

What are the trees, birds, winds, rivers trying to teach you?

The answers are within and around us, we just need to first be able to listen for them.

Self-wisdom Is The Prerequisite To Worldly Wisdom

You cannot find fulfillment without first knowing what fulfillment looks like to you.

You cannot show empathy and compassion to others without first showing empathy and compassion to yourself.

You cannot correctly interpret what you sense in the external world without first correctly sensing what lies in your internal world.

Self-wisdom is the prerequisite to worldly wisdom. 

How To Be An Influential Leader By Being Vulnerable

It’s not about denying your innate exposure, it’s about leveraging it for success.

There is no denying that by nature we are vulnerable. As human beings and social creatures, we are naturally open to attack and capable of being hurt. But it is also true that by nature we don’t want to be attacked or hurt. As a result we find we’re always doing all we can to protect ourselves and hide what we see as our weakness.

Herein lies the vulnerability paradox. To be innately vulnerable while denying our vulnerability seems to be what is at the heart of being human, and more so, of being a leader.

The more we deny our vulnerability, the less influence we have on the world, the people around us, and ourselves. The more we hide away from what makes us feel uncomfortable, the less fulfillment and connection we experience.

How To Overcome The Fear Of Making Wrong Decisions

It’s not about right or wrong but about finding the best path forward with what you know.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Every day we make hundreds of them. What outfit to wear. When and where to go for lunch. How to word that important email. We make so many decisions so frequently that for the most part we’re not even aware of the decision-making process. It’s intuitive, quick and pain-free.

But as we move through life, inevitably some decisions arise that feel neither quick nor easy. They dig in and take root in our brains and our hearts and force us into a state of turmoil, often for weeks, months or even years at a time. The more we think about them, the less clear the path forward seems. Easy answers elude us. Trade-offs and trip-ups lurk everywhere.

How To Daydream To Boost Your Creative Leadership

Rarely do we solve problems by staring at a screen. Our best ideas come when we step away and look out - when we daydream. Here's some steps to do so.

Riding the subway home the other day I caught myself daydreaming. It was a wonderful feeling. The rattling of the train, the faces and the sounds around me ... all of them slipped away as my brain turned in on itself. I felt my ideas start to wander. I felt the joy of discovery, watching where my brain roamed free of my own judgement, free to just be.

I used to daydream all the time. I was known for it back in high school in Australia. I remember sitting cross-legged in a circle of girlfriends. Everyone would be talking and I would zone out. My friends knew the look — my gaze went distant, my eyes stopped blinking.